My old friend and fellow blogger, Grumpy (grumpy-olddog.blogspot.com), recently wrote a blog about a summer job which he hated, and this blog triggered memories of my summer jobs.
My grandfather in 1899 bought control of an underwear company in our small town in the midwest, and for 75 years my family was active in that business until I sold it to a conglomerate in the early seventies. My father and his brother as kids worked in the company, and later my father became President of the company in 1934 and ran it until he retired in 1956---to be replaced by my older brother.
My father had three sons, and all of them worked at the factory as teenagers in the summer. My oldest brother was the one who became President after our father. He really did not plan on going in the family business; our middle brother was the one always interested in the business and probably the most natural businessman of the three. Unfortunately, he was killed in World War II and never got the chance. My surviving brother left the company in 1968 and a partner and I bought control of the business from my father and ran it until we sold the company.
Back to the summer jobs, I have some great memories. When I was sixteen, as the young hormones were raging, I had a crush on my first girlfriend, and one night we headed for one of the local parks where we indulged in some heavy necking and petting---to use old-fashioned terms. The next evening, at the dinner table, my father quietly turned to me and said, "Did you have a nice time in the park last night?" I almost dropped my fork , blushed and stammered. Typical of a small town, one of the employees was walking in the park and spied my girl and me behind a bush, told her foreman, who told the plant manager, who told my father---a sort of Tinkers-to-Evans-to-Chance gossip double play. Moral of that story: get out of town if you plan to play. a lesson I never forgot.
Another funny remembrance was, about a year later, I had endured a very late night but managed to get to work on time at 7:30 a.m. By lunch time I was exhausted and decided to take my box lunch and curl up in the stockroom where bags of knitted cloth were stored. The bags on the lowest shelf made a wonderful bed. I promptly fell asleep. I was awakened by the sound of voices and spied two sets of shoes from my low vantage point in the bins. A very familiar voice said, "I hope we're not disturbing you. but you are supposed to be at work---it's after one." The shoes belonged to my father and the plant manager and the sarcastic voice was, of course, my Dad.
Later that same summer the girl friend and I, on a particularly hot and steamy (weatherwise and personalwise) midwestern Sunday summer night, were parked by the local lake. We impulsively decided, hot as it was, to go skinnydipping. Afterwards, I took her home, earlier than normal because she had to go somewhere with her parents early the next day. I got home and walked from the garage into the kitchen where my parents were having a late evening snack. We chatted for a few minutes and then I announced that I better get to bed because I was going to have a particularly busy work day on the Monday and bid my parents good night. My father answered, "Good night---and, by the way, your t-shirt is on inside out." How do you follow a line like that? I simply slunk up the stairs.
This is the stuff of youth and memories in a carefree time.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
ATTENTION: G.O.P. & DEMOCRATS
“We are the benefactors of unprecedented growth that began in the 1780's and really did not slowdown until the 1970's -- two full centuries of it. Our prosperity was not granted by some invisible powers nor from destiny but from fortune and well applied hard work that may not be so simple to reproduce.If we want to be prosperous in the future we need to understand that our prosperity will not persist on its own, we must deliberately set out to make it exist in the future. We must be mindful of reducing the debt but we should not impoverish our people just to do that. We must borrow and spend wisely to develop a strong and sustainable economy.
The Republicans are hampered by magical thinking about cornucopias and self-regulating free markets. They are like people who gamble because they believe that luck is not related to probabilities but to invisible forces, and lose all their money in games where the house has the odds in its favor. They think that despite past history, the private sector will suddenly become our savior, will suddenly give us jobs and domestic industrial prosperity, if we just cut taxes and regulations.”
This quotation is from a blog I saw online on nytimes.com from a person who signed the name as “Casual Observer”. I think this commentary contains a lot of perceptive common sense and insight.
I earned my living in the business world, so I would be a real hypocrite if I denied all the value I saw in that world. I was, however, also realistic enough to see the vices as well as the virtues of that world . Free enterprise has created miracles in economic growth and been responsible for many of the benefits of our lives today, but the flip side also rears an ugly head in the extremes of greed and utter selfishness displayed frequently in the process which have been evident throughout history but especially in recent times.
You cannot totally free business from regulation. When totally unbridled, the result frequently is callous disregard of the good of the majority of people and the enrichment of the few at the expense of the majority. “To hell with you---I’ve got mine” is the watchword of these greedy ones.
Look at this standoff between public employees and the governor in Wisconsin---and Ohio, for that matter. Both governors of these states are out to stifle the unions as part of efforts to control state budgets. In the process they are trying to limit the power of collective bargaining. Unions were created for a very good reason: to control the excesses of capitalism that trod on workers’ rights and stifled their pay. No doubt, sometimes union demands became excessive and were in their own way stifling to economic growth. (Then you also had the auto companies who in good times conceded too much to union demands and paid the price in recent times.) To take away collective bargaining is to deprive workers of the basic right to present and argue for their demands. Balance is everything: rights for both workers and management must be found.
The Republican Party, in their newfound zeal and frenzy of cost cutting, are really playing games. I don’t think the Democrats or our President are much better in the game playing going on in cost cutting---with symbolic cuts in individual programs and not dealing with the real money in entitlement programs. We need true bipartisanship to form committees to sit down and come up with realistic programs for Social Security, Medicare and Health Care---where the real action and attention is needed. Some commissions have made recommendations. Now we need select brains to sit down, sift through the variety of proposals and adopt some sensible proposals to deal with the real problems in entitlements.
“Casual Observer” hit the nail right on the head; it bears repeating: “We must borrow and spend wisely to develop a strong and sustainable economy.”
The Republicans are hampered by magical thinking about cornucopias and self-regulating free markets. They are like people who gamble because they believe that luck is not related to probabilities but to invisible forces, and lose all their money in games where the house has the odds in its favor. They think that despite past history, the private sector will suddenly become our savior, will suddenly give us jobs and domestic industrial prosperity, if we just cut taxes and regulations.”
This quotation is from a blog I saw online on nytimes.com from a person who signed the name as “Casual Observer”. I think this commentary contains a lot of perceptive common sense and insight.
I earned my living in the business world, so I would be a real hypocrite if I denied all the value I saw in that world. I was, however, also realistic enough to see the vices as well as the virtues of that world . Free enterprise has created miracles in economic growth and been responsible for many of the benefits of our lives today, but the flip side also rears an ugly head in the extremes of greed and utter selfishness displayed frequently in the process which have been evident throughout history but especially in recent times.
You cannot totally free business from regulation. When totally unbridled, the result frequently is callous disregard of the good of the majority of people and the enrichment of the few at the expense of the majority. “To hell with you---I’ve got mine” is the watchword of these greedy ones.
Look at this standoff between public employees and the governor in Wisconsin---and Ohio, for that matter. Both governors of these states are out to stifle the unions as part of efforts to control state budgets. In the process they are trying to limit the power of collective bargaining. Unions were created for a very good reason: to control the excesses of capitalism that trod on workers’ rights and stifled their pay. No doubt, sometimes union demands became excessive and were in their own way stifling to economic growth. (Then you also had the auto companies who in good times conceded too much to union demands and paid the price in recent times.) To take away collective bargaining is to deprive workers of the basic right to present and argue for their demands. Balance is everything: rights for both workers and management must be found.
The Republican Party, in their newfound zeal and frenzy of cost cutting, are really playing games. I don’t think the Democrats or our President are much better in the game playing going on in cost cutting---with symbolic cuts in individual programs and not dealing with the real money in entitlement programs. We need true bipartisanship to form committees to sit down and come up with realistic programs for Social Security, Medicare and Health Care---where the real action and attention is needed. Some commissions have made recommendations. Now we need select brains to sit down, sift through the variety of proposals and adopt some sensible proposals to deal with the real problems in entitlements.
“Casual Observer” hit the nail right on the head; it bears repeating: “We must borrow and spend wisely to develop a strong and sustainable economy.”
Thursday, February 17, 2011
HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?
I have recently received mail from an alumnus of my college, Hamilton College, a small and well-respected liberal arts school in Clinton NY, near Utica in the Mohawk Valley, decrying the constant rise in tuitions at my alma mater---and many other colleges and universities. He is not a lone voice crying in the wilderness.
The cost of education has risen constantly and exponentially, like health care costs, much faster than the cost of living or inflation index, and I think, as in so many area of economics, we are seeing the beginnings of a rebellion---Tea Party action in academia. if you will. I note in the paper today that one of the most respected colleges in the south, Sewanee, formerly the University of the South, is cutting tuition 10% for next year from an astronomical $46,000. $46,000, can you believe it? Hamilton is over $41,000. By the time you add in miscellaneous expenses like room and board you are about $60,000 per annum or $240,000 for the full term of four years.
A letter in the Hamilton newspaper, The Spectator, from another recent alumnus, class of '07, states that his parents paid tuition from 1997 to 2001 for his sister of $121,452 and for him from 2003-2007, $162,635, an increase of $41.095 or up 33.8%!!! In this same issue, a debate is staged in written form on the subject, "Does Hamilton allocate its money wisely?" with the PRO side saying yes, past successes should instill future trust and the NAY side stating no, we should think more critically about how we spend. This is the first time I've seen such a debate occurring on campus, but maybe I'm out of touch.
One of my good friends, a classmate and fraternity brother in college and Life Trustee of the college, the retired chairman of one of the major investment houses, is a zillionaire and has been exceedingly generous to Hamilton, endowing a magnificent music center in memory of his late wife and now proposing a new art museum donated by him and his family. In this debate in the newspaper, the naysayer questions the need for this museum.
The Chairman of the Board of Trustees at Hamilton is a brilliant businessman, A.J. Lafley, the former C.E.O. of Procter & Gamble and credited for the phenomenal success in recent years of P. & G., one of the world's great marketers. I'm sure he is beginning to hear the groundswell from dubious alumni.
I realize that colleges must be state-of-the-art in their facilities and their teachers. I also know that competition among professors can be a real dog fight as they jockey for tenure and titles.
But I am beginning to wonder if building tributes to its own magnificence, unrestrained increases in salaries and increases in staff at colleges and universities should be reexamined in view of today's economics. State schools and public schools are going through traumatic financial convulsions and retrenching.
Isn't it time for independent colleges to bite the bullet and do a financial gut check on where they are? Isn't it time for the students to get a break?
The cost of education has risen constantly and exponentially, like health care costs, much faster than the cost of living or inflation index, and I think, as in so many area of economics, we are seeing the beginnings of a rebellion---Tea Party action in academia. if you will. I note in the paper today that one of the most respected colleges in the south, Sewanee, formerly the University of the South, is cutting tuition 10% for next year from an astronomical $46,000. $46,000, can you believe it? Hamilton is over $41,000. By the time you add in miscellaneous expenses like room and board you are about $60,000 per annum or $240,000 for the full term of four years.
A letter in the Hamilton newspaper, The Spectator, from another recent alumnus, class of '07, states that his parents paid tuition from 1997 to 2001 for his sister of $121,452 and for him from 2003-2007, $162,635, an increase of $41.095 or up 33.8%!!! In this same issue, a debate is staged in written form on the subject, "Does Hamilton allocate its money wisely?" with the PRO side saying yes, past successes should instill future trust and the NAY side stating no, we should think more critically about how we spend. This is the first time I've seen such a debate occurring on campus, but maybe I'm out of touch.
One of my good friends, a classmate and fraternity brother in college and Life Trustee of the college, the retired chairman of one of the major investment houses, is a zillionaire and has been exceedingly generous to Hamilton, endowing a magnificent music center in memory of his late wife and now proposing a new art museum donated by him and his family. In this debate in the newspaper, the naysayer questions the need for this museum.
The Chairman of the Board of Trustees at Hamilton is a brilliant businessman, A.J. Lafley, the former C.E.O. of Procter & Gamble and credited for the phenomenal success in recent years of P. & G., one of the world's great marketers. I'm sure he is beginning to hear the groundswell from dubious alumni.
I realize that colleges must be state-of-the-art in their facilities and their teachers. I also know that competition among professors can be a real dog fight as they jockey for tenure and titles.
But I am beginning to wonder if building tributes to its own magnificence, unrestrained increases in salaries and increases in staff at colleges and universities should be reexamined in view of today's economics. State schools and public schools are going through traumatic financial convulsions and retrenching.
Isn't it time for independent colleges to bite the bullet and do a financial gut check on where they are? Isn't it time for the students to get a break?
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
IT'S JUST NOT ROTTEN IN DENMARK
I read in the NY Times this morning, a reporter, Diana B. Henriques, who is also writing a book about Bernie Madoff, had a front page article on Madoff in which he claims that the banks had to know about his Ponzi swindle. Ms. Henriques has had several interviews with Madoff in his North Carolina prison as well as numerous email communications with him as she researched her book.
I finally have something Bernie Madoff said that I believe: I don't think there is a shred of doubt that some of the major players, banks and hedge funds, had to be aware that something was awry when his returns on investments were so astronomical and unreal.
It's the same old story of greed and complicity. You got a good thing going: he's making money, you're making a pile handling his investments, why rock the boat. Just look the other way and let sleeping dogs lie, particularly when you are being enriched in the process.
It's not simply a cult of ammorality but a case of immorality. When you know something is wrong and you carry on regardless of that knowledge, that is willful and wrong---and that spells immorality.
Too much of this kind of thinking has become an integral part of too many lives today. It's not confined to the business world alone, although, God knows, that world has a disproportionate share of these baddies. You see it in the sports world, for example, when you know that baseball management knew---and did nothing about---the steroid scandals of the nineties and early 2000s. It has become accepted behaviour in too much of the world.
I'm not trying to be the great Moralist. Like most of us, I screw up and don't do the right thing enough. We're all imperfect, but try to remember that old saw: tell the truth, it's easier to remember! And when something stinks, don't buy it!
I finally have something Bernie Madoff said that I believe: I don't think there is a shred of doubt that some of the major players, banks and hedge funds, had to be aware that something was awry when his returns on investments were so astronomical and unreal.
It's the same old story of greed and complicity. You got a good thing going: he's making money, you're making a pile handling his investments, why rock the boat. Just look the other way and let sleeping dogs lie, particularly when you are being enriched in the process.
It's not simply a cult of ammorality but a case of immorality. When you know something is wrong and you carry on regardless of that knowledge, that is willful and wrong---and that spells immorality.
Too much of this kind of thinking has become an integral part of too many lives today. It's not confined to the business world alone, although, God knows, that world has a disproportionate share of these baddies. You see it in the sports world, for example, when you know that baseball management knew---and did nothing about---the steroid scandals of the nineties and early 2000s. It has become accepted behaviour in too much of the world.
I'm not trying to be the great Moralist. Like most of us, I screw up and don't do the right thing enough. We're all imperfect, but try to remember that old saw: tell the truth, it's easier to remember! And when something stinks, don't buy it!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
FREE, FREE AT LAST---I HOPE!
I'm sure you have been as enthralled as I with the eighteen-day demonstrations in Tahrir Square in Cairo which ended with Muburak resigning yesterday and going into retirement. It is an amazing revolution of the young imposing their collective will on an authoritarian regime and winning.
The victory, however. is temporary until we see how this game plays out. The military is making the right sounds: respecting the will of the people, promising reforms and a prompt election but not declaring too many specifics. America has had to play a cautious game, favoring democratic principles but trying to walk the tightrope over that abyss called the Middle East. Now is the time we can work in the background and use our power and influence to help push for a solution to create free elections and suitable candidates. We are going to have to face the reality that Islamic influence in the form of the Islamic brotherhood will have a voice in whatever government emerges, but, according to most reports, the brotherhood is moderate and not radical.
Nothing stays the same in a changing world, and flexibility becomes the operative phrase. What we have to encourage is stability and a thoughtful process to build a new constitution and to encourage a secular approach to government based on the needs of the majority.
It is not going to be easy, but we must help Egypt stay the course and ensure that freedom is more than an empty phrase of lip service.
What's next in the Middle East? I'm certain the brush fire of democracy will sweep on. Let's be part of the sweeping and not the swept.
The victory, however. is temporary until we see how this game plays out. The military is making the right sounds: respecting the will of the people, promising reforms and a prompt election but not declaring too many specifics. America has had to play a cautious game, favoring democratic principles but trying to walk the tightrope over that abyss called the Middle East. Now is the time we can work in the background and use our power and influence to help push for a solution to create free elections and suitable candidates. We are going to have to face the reality that Islamic influence in the form of the Islamic brotherhood will have a voice in whatever government emerges, but, according to most reports, the brotherhood is moderate and not radical.
Nothing stays the same in a changing world, and flexibility becomes the operative phrase. What we have to encourage is stability and a thoughtful process to build a new constitution and to encourage a secular approach to government based on the needs of the majority.
It is not going to be easy, but we must help Egypt stay the course and ensure that freedom is more than an empty phrase of lip service.
What's next in the Middle East? I'm certain the brush fire of democracy will sweep on. Let's be part of the sweeping and not the swept.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
WHY DO I NOT FEEL BETTER?
I watched an interview on CNN by Piers Morgan with Donald Trump. "The Donald" allowed how he was seriously considering a bid for the Presidency and would make a final decision in June. I'll bet a few G.O.P. hopefuls are sticking pins into voodoo doll replicas of "The Donald" to prevent him from entering the race.
Frankly, he could scare a few Republicans and, for different reasons, he scares the hell out of me. He is the usual self-assured "take charge" kind of guy with a series of glib solutions to many of our problems. He would put some of his Wall Street cronies in charge of running governmemtal departments. Wow, talk about the proverbial foxes guarding the hen house. You think we got a deficit now---wait until these babies start to operate!
He would also view China as our enemy and would immediately impose a 25% tax on all goods imported from China. No five-star White House dinners and galas for the Chinese premier, though he might take him to McDonald's! It's amazing how tough you can talk and what an ironclad image you can project when you are sitting on the outside looking in.
You want to dislike him, but he's such a successful huckster and so full of beans (or something else) that he can charm you, like a cobra. A ticket of Trump and Palin---should we laugh or cry?
"It's my stomach, Doc, it just keeps churning."
Frankly, he could scare a few Republicans and, for different reasons, he scares the hell out of me. He is the usual self-assured "take charge" kind of guy with a series of glib solutions to many of our problems. He would put some of his Wall Street cronies in charge of running governmemtal departments. Wow, talk about the proverbial foxes guarding the hen house. You think we got a deficit now---wait until these babies start to operate!
He would also view China as our enemy and would immediately impose a 25% tax on all goods imported from China. No five-star White House dinners and galas for the Chinese premier, though he might take him to McDonald's! It's amazing how tough you can talk and what an ironclad image you can project when you are sitting on the outside looking in.
You want to dislike him, but he's such a successful huckster and so full of beans (or something else) that he can charm you, like a cobra. A ticket of Trump and Palin---should we laugh or cry?
"It's my stomach, Doc, it just keeps churning."
Monday, February 7, 2011
OF PIPS AND PUPS
I have recently been through a life-affecting experience in a quiet and subtle way---not so dramatically as Saul of Tarsus on the way to Damascus being blinded by God’s light, leading to his Christian conversion and ultimately becoming Saint Paul---nevertheless, a spiritual journey which affects my attitudes in life. And I am not alone in this feeling.
I belong to a Men’s Ministry group at my church which meets twice a month at 7:30 a.m. for a light breakfast and a member-created program regarding our faith in which we all participate. It is truly an inspiring group of men of diverse backgrounds, most of whom were PIPS (previously important people) in their working lives. We have several medical doctors, some PhDs, high-powered former captains of industry and an old clothing schlepper like me (just to prove our diversity!). Anyone who comes in contact with this group is awed by their sense of mission: a group of old guys who really care about the world and, in small but significant ways, want to make a difference. It is a group of caring people whom I am honored to be part of, and I always look forward to what they will do or say next.
Back to the life-affecting experience, every now and then we hold a retreat where as a group we go away for two nights, three days at DaySpring, a 92-acre preserve and meeting center owned by the Episcopal Diocese of Southwest Florida, not far from Bradenton on the west coast of Florida. We did a retreat there three years ago and then again in late January of 2011. We always have an inspiring moderator/lecturer/facilitator---in both cases, Episcopal priests.
The first retreat three years ago was conducted by Douglass Lind, an Episcopal priest-cum-psychotherapist, Harvard-trained, a Doctor of Divinity and PhD in psychology, who is semi-retired here on Sanibel Island, Florida, but who still maintains a consulting business with several high-powered major corporations and also assists our priest, The Rev. Dr. Ellen Sloan, in conducting services at our church, Saint Michael and All Angels. Doug called his session with us “Life in the Fourth Quarter” in which we examined our lives as old men and what gives then meaning. It was inspirational.
Now, this year, we had The Rev. Stuart Hoke, a North Carolinian, now living there in semi-retirement whose most recent assignment had been at Trinity Church, Wall Street in New York. When you meet Stuart, you immediately know there is a special aura about him of serenity and wisdom; he is one of those guys you just take to on sight. His theme for this retreat was “Spirituality is Surrender”, how by facing up to life’s challenges and accepting them as learning experiences we can improve our lives spiritually.
Stuart Hoke is not some Ivory Tower philosopher, isolated and insulated from the real world. He is a priest---and a dedicated one at that---but he is also very human. He’s been through a later-life divorce, life-threatening prostate cancer, and as a participant in 9/11. These searing and traumatic experiences have only served to deepen and strengthen his inner and outer lives. He is full of aphorisms and witticisms, plus blessed with an incredible gift for memorization so that he can quote a myriad of noteworthy quotations
from a vast assortment of resources, not just Christian but a range of philosophies and religions.
One of his lines that appealed to all of us was an old Buddhist adage: “When a student is ready, a teacher always appears.” In our case, it was Stuart who appeared. When you open yourself to receive new thinking, you will be amazed at what you can learn. To oversimplify, what Stuart was teaching us was that by letting go of our anxieties and problems and trusting in a power beyond ourselves (in our case, God), we can achieve spiritual growth and contentment. By listening to other voices than our own, we learn and grow. A quartet of seemingly paradoxical principles applies: (1) we surrender to win; (2) we give away to keep; (3) we suffer to get well; and (4) we die to live. When we redeem our lives, we find these four redemptive principles: (1) we bring good out of evil; (2) joy out of suffering; (3) light out of darkness; and (4) life out of death.
What really drove the subject home and emotionally moved us was when Stuart recounted his personal traumas. He alluded to his divorce with two grown sons but did not elaborate, but he really moved us with his struggle with cancer and his 9/11 nightmare.
He was boarding a plane to visit one of his sons in Florida when his cell phone rang. It was his Urologist who told him he had to get medical attention immediately because, on every test for prostate cancer on a scale of 1 to 10, he registered 10! He described his subsequent state of mind where he went through extremes of denial before he faced the possibility of his own death and dealt with the problem. Fortunately, by getting quick and the best of medical care, plus his spiritual acceptance, he survived this trauma.
As for 9/11, at the time he was one of the priests at Trinity Church, Wall Street, a famous New York landmark, next to the World Trade Centers. It is a huge and affluent church with an annual budget of $350,000,000, renowned for its good works, beauty, preaching and music.
At about 9:00 a.m. on September 11, 2001, Stuart was on his way to work on a subway train when the conductor screamed, “Get out, get out, right here at Rector Street.” In the ensuing pandemonium, Stuart could not, along with a lot of others, get off and the train went on. He got off at the next stop and emerged from the subway to a world of total chaos and destruction with bits of paper, scraps of clothing, and human detriti floating through the dense grey dust. He found his way, staggering through this fog to the 25-storey office building housing Trinity Church personnel and found his boss, the rector, Dan Matthews, trying to render some order out of this hellish chaos. “Get to the church,” Matthews screamed to Stuart and the church organist, “and do something. People are swarming into the church!”
Somehow Stuart Hoke and the organist made their way through the chaos to Trinity Church and found a disoriented disorganized mass of humanity seeking shelter. He had the foresight before he entered the church to don his priestly surplice. He laughed about this reflexive action, but, in view of the chaos he was about to face, it was probably the wisest thing be could have done as a symbol of authority and “someone in charge”. He started reading passages from the Bible which got the attention of the crowd. He kept reading; they sang hymns, accompanied by the organ, and people kept coming in of every race, creed and gender, a real potpourri of the Gotham scene.
Then a horrendous and continuous crashing sound in stages began. People screamed and dived under the pews as this frightening sound, like the deafening clapping of the loudest thunder ever heard, continued. Then there was absolute silence. It was, of course, building two of the World Trade Tower, right next to the church, crashing in stages, floor by floor, to the ground. The church survived with only a few broken windows!
As Stuart Hoke told this enthralling story of terror, the effect on a roomful of retreat attendants was creating its own trauma. One of our members from Rumson, New Jersey broke into convulsive sobs as he recalled the funeral of five of his friends from Rumson who died in 9/11. We were all choking or sobbing as this touching scene took place.
Stuart described the redemptive work that followed as volunteers poured into lower Manhattan to offer what help they could. One wonderful anecdote concerned a group of rich social matrons from Greenwich, Connecticut who came to New York to help---and teamed up with a group of Hell’s Angels bikers from L.A. in an unlikely but effective alliance. To this day these disparate allies keep in touch.
Another miraculous event of this cataclysmic day was the rescue of all of the children who attended school at Trinity Church. When the first cxplosion occurred, the children were rushed to the basement for safety. By walkie-talkie connections, a plan was devised to get the children to safety. All the streets leading to Trinity were blocked by cars deserted by their owners when the calamity occurred, so passage by street was impossible. A group of New York City buses reached Trinity by driving down the sidewalks---and took the children to a Catholic church in the Bronx where they all were later reunited with their parents. (Who ever dreamed the sidewalks were wide enough to hold a metro bus!)
Each day at the retreat we were divided into three tables of six or seven. After Stuart spoke, we would talk together and find the messages and insights that his words inspired. It brought us together and emphasized the bond of love that held us in spite of our diverse backgrounds. We were truly a band of brothers by the end of that retreat.
At one point during the meeting, I commented that the PIPS (previously important people) were now PUPS (Presently Unimportant People). At this retreat, a great thing happened: these former PIPS, now PUPS, learned some important life lessons which we treasure and will not soon forget.
I belong to a Men’s Ministry group at my church which meets twice a month at 7:30 a.m. for a light breakfast and a member-created program regarding our faith in which we all participate. It is truly an inspiring group of men of diverse backgrounds, most of whom were PIPS (previously important people) in their working lives. We have several medical doctors, some PhDs, high-powered former captains of industry and an old clothing schlepper like me (just to prove our diversity!). Anyone who comes in contact with this group is awed by their sense of mission: a group of old guys who really care about the world and, in small but significant ways, want to make a difference. It is a group of caring people whom I am honored to be part of, and I always look forward to what they will do or say next.
Back to the life-affecting experience, every now and then we hold a retreat where as a group we go away for two nights, three days at DaySpring, a 92-acre preserve and meeting center owned by the Episcopal Diocese of Southwest Florida, not far from Bradenton on the west coast of Florida. We did a retreat there three years ago and then again in late January of 2011. We always have an inspiring moderator/lecturer/facilitator---in both cases, Episcopal priests.
The first retreat three years ago was conducted by Douglass Lind, an Episcopal priest-cum-psychotherapist, Harvard-trained, a Doctor of Divinity and PhD in psychology, who is semi-retired here on Sanibel Island, Florida, but who still maintains a consulting business with several high-powered major corporations and also assists our priest, The Rev. Dr. Ellen Sloan, in conducting services at our church, Saint Michael and All Angels. Doug called his session with us “Life in the Fourth Quarter” in which we examined our lives as old men and what gives then meaning. It was inspirational.
Now, this year, we had The Rev. Stuart Hoke, a North Carolinian, now living there in semi-retirement whose most recent assignment had been at Trinity Church, Wall Street in New York. When you meet Stuart, you immediately know there is a special aura about him of serenity and wisdom; he is one of those guys you just take to on sight. His theme for this retreat was “Spirituality is Surrender”, how by facing up to life’s challenges and accepting them as learning experiences we can improve our lives spiritually.
Stuart Hoke is not some Ivory Tower philosopher, isolated and insulated from the real world. He is a priest---and a dedicated one at that---but he is also very human. He’s been through a later-life divorce, life-threatening prostate cancer, and as a participant in 9/11. These searing and traumatic experiences have only served to deepen and strengthen his inner and outer lives. He is full of aphorisms and witticisms, plus blessed with an incredible gift for memorization so that he can quote a myriad of noteworthy quotations
from a vast assortment of resources, not just Christian but a range of philosophies and religions.
One of his lines that appealed to all of us was an old Buddhist adage: “When a student is ready, a teacher always appears.” In our case, it was Stuart who appeared. When you open yourself to receive new thinking, you will be amazed at what you can learn. To oversimplify, what Stuart was teaching us was that by letting go of our anxieties and problems and trusting in a power beyond ourselves (in our case, God), we can achieve spiritual growth and contentment. By listening to other voices than our own, we learn and grow. A quartet of seemingly paradoxical principles applies: (1) we surrender to win; (2) we give away to keep; (3) we suffer to get well; and (4) we die to live. When we redeem our lives, we find these four redemptive principles: (1) we bring good out of evil; (2) joy out of suffering; (3) light out of darkness; and (4) life out of death.
What really drove the subject home and emotionally moved us was when Stuart recounted his personal traumas. He alluded to his divorce with two grown sons but did not elaborate, but he really moved us with his struggle with cancer and his 9/11 nightmare.
He was boarding a plane to visit one of his sons in Florida when his cell phone rang. It was his Urologist who told him he had to get medical attention immediately because, on every test for prostate cancer on a scale of 1 to 10, he registered 10! He described his subsequent state of mind where he went through extremes of denial before he faced the possibility of his own death and dealt with the problem. Fortunately, by getting quick and the best of medical care, plus his spiritual acceptance, he survived this trauma.
As for 9/11, at the time he was one of the priests at Trinity Church, Wall Street, a famous New York landmark, next to the World Trade Centers. It is a huge and affluent church with an annual budget of $350,000,000, renowned for its good works, beauty, preaching and music.
At about 9:00 a.m. on September 11, 2001, Stuart was on his way to work on a subway train when the conductor screamed, “Get out, get out, right here at Rector Street.” In the ensuing pandemonium, Stuart could not, along with a lot of others, get off and the train went on. He got off at the next stop and emerged from the subway to a world of total chaos and destruction with bits of paper, scraps of clothing, and human detriti floating through the dense grey dust. He found his way, staggering through this fog to the 25-storey office building housing Trinity Church personnel and found his boss, the rector, Dan Matthews, trying to render some order out of this hellish chaos. “Get to the church,” Matthews screamed to Stuart and the church organist, “and do something. People are swarming into the church!”
Somehow Stuart Hoke and the organist made their way through the chaos to Trinity Church and found a disoriented disorganized mass of humanity seeking shelter. He had the foresight before he entered the church to don his priestly surplice. He laughed about this reflexive action, but, in view of the chaos he was about to face, it was probably the wisest thing be could have done as a symbol of authority and “someone in charge”. He started reading passages from the Bible which got the attention of the crowd. He kept reading; they sang hymns, accompanied by the organ, and people kept coming in of every race, creed and gender, a real potpourri of the Gotham scene.
Then a horrendous and continuous crashing sound in stages began. People screamed and dived under the pews as this frightening sound, like the deafening clapping of the loudest thunder ever heard, continued. Then there was absolute silence. It was, of course, building two of the World Trade Tower, right next to the church, crashing in stages, floor by floor, to the ground. The church survived with only a few broken windows!
As Stuart Hoke told this enthralling story of terror, the effect on a roomful of retreat attendants was creating its own trauma. One of our members from Rumson, New Jersey broke into convulsive sobs as he recalled the funeral of five of his friends from Rumson who died in 9/11. We were all choking or sobbing as this touching scene took place.
Stuart described the redemptive work that followed as volunteers poured into lower Manhattan to offer what help they could. One wonderful anecdote concerned a group of rich social matrons from Greenwich, Connecticut who came to New York to help---and teamed up with a group of Hell’s Angels bikers from L.A. in an unlikely but effective alliance. To this day these disparate allies keep in touch.
Another miraculous event of this cataclysmic day was the rescue of all of the children who attended school at Trinity Church. When the first cxplosion occurred, the children were rushed to the basement for safety. By walkie-talkie connections, a plan was devised to get the children to safety. All the streets leading to Trinity were blocked by cars deserted by their owners when the calamity occurred, so passage by street was impossible. A group of New York City buses reached Trinity by driving down the sidewalks---and took the children to a Catholic church in the Bronx where they all were later reunited with their parents. (Who ever dreamed the sidewalks were wide enough to hold a metro bus!)
Each day at the retreat we were divided into three tables of six or seven. After Stuart spoke, we would talk together and find the messages and insights that his words inspired. It brought us together and emphasized the bond of love that held us in spite of our diverse backgrounds. We were truly a band of brothers by the end of that retreat.
At one point during the meeting, I commented that the PIPS (previously important people) were now PUPS (Presently Unimportant People). At this retreat, a great thing happened: these former PIPS, now PUPS, learned some important life lessons which we treasure and will not soon forget.
Friday, February 4, 2011
I'M BACK WITH SOME MISCELLANY
It has been a frantic and hectic time recently, so I have not had time to return to the world of blogging. My wife had knee replacement surgery scheduled for February 7. She went to the dentist yesterday with a gum complaint, knowing that you are not allowed to have antibiotics for ninety days after surgery and figuring in advance of the surgery to get this ckeckup out of the way. Much to her dismay, she found she has an infection lodged in there and today must go to an oral surgeon for a root canal---with the result that the knee replacement is temporarily put on hold until a determination is made of the degree of infection and how long the recovery period will be. In a sense, it's a real bummer for her because she was mentally prepared, if still anxious, for the knee surgery. The orthopedic surgeon would not want to take a chance of the infection traveling in her body until he knows more about the gum problem.
Life keeps throwing curve balls at us, and we must learn to adjust and keep swinging. Speaking of curves, I see that pitcher Andy Pettite, one of the real class acts in baseball, is retiring. He is one of the good guys and will be missed. You can be certain the Yankees will open their limitless pocketbook and buy a replacement. Baseball excitement is beginning to buzz around here in the Fort Myers, Florida area with spring training soon to start. The Red Sox and Twins are both here, and exhibition games are usually sold out. Now, I note, the Madoff Ponzi scheme scandal is involving the Mets' owners!
The Super Bowl hype continues unabated, and I will be glad when they stop talking and play...Jerry Jones playing genial host shows the world what an asshole he really is. A 30-second spot on the Super Bowl now costs $3,000,000. It must be worth it, as they stand in line to buy such spots. Careerbuilders.com, I heard, had a 29% spike in revenue and use their Super Bowl spot at other times, as well.
I'll be back at you sooner, I hope!
Life keeps throwing curve balls at us, and we must learn to adjust and keep swinging. Speaking of curves, I see that pitcher Andy Pettite, one of the real class acts in baseball, is retiring. He is one of the good guys and will be missed. You can be certain the Yankees will open their limitless pocketbook and buy a replacement. Baseball excitement is beginning to buzz around here in the Fort Myers, Florida area with spring training soon to start. The Red Sox and Twins are both here, and exhibition games are usually sold out. Now, I note, the Madoff Ponzi scheme scandal is involving the Mets' owners!
The Super Bowl hype continues unabated, and I will be glad when they stop talking and play...Jerry Jones playing genial host shows the world what an asshole he really is. A 30-second spot on the Super Bowl now costs $3,000,000. It must be worth it, as they stand in line to buy such spots. Careerbuilders.com, I heard, had a 29% spike in revenue and use their Super Bowl spot at other times, as well.
I'll be back at you sooner, I hope!
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